Avoid the bridezilla tag by treating your
bridesmaids right
But
there are some things a bride should never ask her bridesmaids to do. We're taking serious bridezilla
territory here.
1.
Change how you look
A
bridesmaid revealed on Reddit recently that the bride had asked her to
dye her hair because her ginger
tresses were too "attention-grabbing." The demanding bride wanted her
to make them a "natural brown" to fit in with the other bridesmaids.
We can only echo the views of hundreds of Reddit users who told this bridesmaid
to stand her ginger ground.
A
bride who asks her bridesmaids to change their physical appearance in any way
(whether the request is to drop a few pounds before the wedding, cover up
tattoos or change their hair color) needs a serious reality check. Brides don't
get a veto over every aspect of their bridesmaids' appearances. It doesn't
matter if the bride is willing to pay for the dye job/personal trainer/plastic
surgery.
2.
Not change how you look
Equally,
a bride can't ask her bridesmaids not to change their physical appearance. Most maids would
probably wait until after the wedding to get that huge shoulder tattoo or
bleached-blonde buzz cut. But if someone decides they absolutely have to make
that radical change, the bride just has to go with it. Bridesmaids are chosen
for their loyalty and friendship, not for how they look.
3.
A bridal shower to end all bridal showers
If
a bride wants a bridal shower worthy of a Hollywood A-lister (with the budget
to match), she has to plan and pay for it herself. Traditionally, bridesmaids
organize the shower and meet the cost, so the bride gets what they can afford. Remember, it really is the
thought that counts.
4.
Ditto for the bachelorette party
The
same rule applies to the bachelorette party. If the bride has her heart set on
a week-long, no-expense-spared blowout in Vegas, that's fine — but if the
maids can't afford it, she's gonna have to be happy with a smaller-scale do.
Unless the bride wants to plan and pay for the whole thing herself, she has to
hand the reins over to her bridesmaids and let them plan the guest list, decide
on the location and arrange the activities based on their budget.
5.
Not have an opinion on the bridesmaid's dress
It's
the bride's big day, but if she wants happy maids, she has to let them have
their say in what they are wearing.
Hopefully, everyone will be on the same page, but if there are several
bridesmaids, it can be tricky to find a style of dress that suits (and pleases) everyone.
Everyone should have their say, and the bride should do her best to accommodate
her maids' preferences — within the parameters of her chosen theme/colors, of
course. Also, maids should always be consulted about budget before the bridal
party even sets foot in the bridal store. A bridesmaid shouldn't have to max
out her credit card to pay for an expensive dress.
6.
Give up their own lives
Yes,
it's the bride's day. The focus should be on her (and, hey, let's not forget
the groom). It's natural for a bride to think about nothing else in the run-up
to her wedding. But after the wedding is over, she's going to want to still
have friends, so she needs to be a good friend herself. This means giving the wedding
chat a break for a couple of hours to check in with the maids and find out
what's happening in their lives.
7.
Confront another bridesmaid who's not pulling her weight
Not
all bridesmaids are created equal. Some will throw themselves whole-heartedly into
the tasks assigned by the bride, while others will be less reluctant to
sacrifice their free time to wedding-related assignments. But if a bride is
pissed at one of her maids' lack of effort, it's up to her to deal with it, not
pass the buck to another maid. Who wants in-fighting among bridesmaids? That
doesn't bode well for a harmonious wedding day, and forced smiles never look
good in photographs. If a bridesmaid doesn't seem enthusiastic about her role
or isn't pulling her weight, the bride should speak to her directly, and never
in front of the other maids.
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