If you want a happy wedding, don't piss off
your bridesmaids before the big day
Wedding
planning would have been horrible if I had not have had such an amazing group
of bridesmaids who loved me and who genuinely had my best interest at heart. If
you’re in the beginning stages of planning and you haven’t picked your
bridesmaids yet, listen up! It’s really important to not put anyone in your
wedding who does not want your wedding to be awesome, who is a low-key hater or
who may have feelings of jealousy toward you and may or may not really care if
things blow up in your face.
Once
you have your squad set, it’s important to remain empathetic toward them
throughout the process. You love these girls enough to ask them to stand before
you and your hubby in the sight of God while you make your vows, so you
probably want them to still be friends with you after your wedding.
Agreeing
to be in a wedding party is a sacrifice. Here are a few ways to make things a
little less stressful on them:
1. Communicate
I
created a Facebook group for my
bridesmaids. This was a huge factor in unifying my bridesmaids and keeping in
touch as a group once things got going. They were able to exchange contact info
and I was able to keep them updated about happenings as much as possible.
Communication in whichever way you choose is extremely important throughout the
planning process. It’s frustrating in any type of planning situation where no
one knows what’s going on.
2. Let them pick out
their own dress
Unless
your bridal party consists of women who are all the same height, weight and
shape (clones), it will be difficult to find one dress that is flattering on
all of them. We as women also tend to have unique things about our bodies that
are not our favorite and that we don’t feel comfortable having on display.
Keeping
in mind that we’re all different, I let my girls pick out their own dresses. I
chose the designer, fabric and color and they picked which style they wanted.
That way, they were not spending money on a dress that they hated and I wasn’t
to blame if they picked out a style that was unflattering for their body type.
3. Keep in mind that
everyone is working with different budgets
Weddings
are expensive. Being in a wedding is expensive. Even being a guest at a wedding
is expensive. I tried to keep this in mind with everything I did. A lot of
times, your bridesmaids are having to pay for things other than their dresses,
such as travel costs, pitching in for the bridal shower, the bachelorette
party, shoes, jewelry, makeup, hair — the list goes on — and
it’s all for YOUR big day. That’s a sacrifice. Love them for it and try to keep
the costs down in as many ways as you can.
4. Don’t be mean
Even
if you’re the nicest bride that you can be, someone at some point is going to
let you down/piss you off before it’s all said and done. It’s OK because you’re
also gonna fall short of perfection before it’s over (this was the day before
my wedding for me). The good news is that if you’ve picked the right
bridesmaids, then they’re more like your sisters. You get annoyed with each
other and then you get over it. If you’re grown enough to get married, then
you’re grown enough to handle disagreements like an adult. This may even mean
apologizing for things sometimes when you really haven’t done anything to
apologize for. I believe that scripture about peacemakers being blessed. Handling
negative situations with grace will only work for you and never against you.
Besides,
things are so much more fun when you have all your girls together and everyone
is at peace. Getting ready on my wedding day surrounded by all the women that I
love was my second favorite moment of my wedding, after saying “I do.” I cried
a little each time I looked around and took in those moments surrounded by the
women who have my heart and who I know have my back no matter what.
