WEDDING CAKES TRENDS

Gone are the days of white cake, white icing and a figurine of the couple on top.

"Many couples are taking their cakes to new levels with unique fillings such as caramel apple or cream cheese, while others are making each layer of the cake a different flavor," says Diane Forden, Editor-in-Chief of Bridal Guide Magazine.

"The days of the white cake are over. Brides are opting for cakes with bold colors and abstract shapes," explains Andrea Correale of Elegant Affairs Caterers.

The cupcake wedding cake is also becoming extremely popular. Instead of a fancy, expensive multi-tiered wedding cake, many couples are opting for cupcakes arranged in the shape of a cake. This is a much more affordable alternative to a traditional wedding cake.

Your guests, young and old, will enjoy the cupcakes at your reception. What's fun is that you can get the cupcakes in a variety of flavors.

If you'd like, you can still have a smaller, separate one tier cake used for the cake cutting ceremony

WEDDING FLOWER TRENDS

Symmetrical floral centerpieces are out. Choose centerpieces of varying size, shape and color. Stay away from using the same vases at each reception table. Choose local, organically grown flowers. After your wedding, donate the arrangements to nearby hospitals or other facilities.

"In color palettes, green is still the most sought after color with accent shades of creams and white or hot pinks and mango coral," says Clara Varga-Gonzales, owner of Tiger Lily Florist in Charleston, S.C. "However, combinations of deep burgundy red Black Magic roses, Black Forest mini Callas and rich purple, almost black, tulips are striking against ornate damask linen. No more white linen on guest tables for sure."

"Many cost conscious and younger brides are opting to veer away from the exotic, elegant vibe and instead find flirty uses for the everyday blossom," explains Tara Simone Powell, floral and event design expert and owner of Barbara's Flowers. "Whimsical bouquets designed with gerbera daisies or dare I say 'carnations!' Carnations, so often frowned upon as a 'funeral flower' come in a wide range of colors and of course are very reasonably priced. For a day time wedding, consider a tussy of carnations bound with a whimsical patterned ribbon!"

How to Get Him to Open Up

Although it is unlikely that we’ll ever join you in your love of The Notebook, sometimes it is okay to be in touch with your sensitive side, and you just have to keep reminding us that. Here are some top tips on how to dig beneath the beer, cologne and testosterone and convince us to open up to you.

HOW GUYS COMMUNICATE

It's not that guys don't want to communicate; it's just that they do it differently. Being a man of few words doesn't mean he's not into you, it's just a guy thing. Here are two simple equations to understand men better:

Men + communication =  less is more.

Women + communication = tell us everything all of the time.

MEN SAY WHAT THEY MEAN AND MEAN WHAT THEY SAY

Ladies, men really do want to communicate with you, and they may actually enjoy it most of the time. Getting men to open up really doesn't take much. You just need to let men do it on their own time, in their own way. Here are some examples:

Woman: Honey, how was your day?

Man: Good.Woman: Tell me about it.

Right there is the fundamental difference between men and women. When guys say "good," it's cause they mean good.That's it! They're not keeping secrets and there's no secret password you need to know to get men to say more. Men are pretty simple that way.

Now, when it comes to arguments, that's a different story.

Guys can get into an argument with very little effort, and will fight to the death. Just like you, though, they'd prefer to have a simple, peaceful conversation. So if you truly want to talk, don't start from a confrontational position."Why didn't you do X?" is asking for a defensive response. Phrase your opening question carefully and you'll soon find that getting him to open up is easier than you thought.

Let your guy communicate in his style and on his terms and he'll open up more. It will probably still be a soundbite compared to your soliliquy, but chances are, it'll work.

What Men Look For In Women

There are hundreds of self-help books that teach women how to act to get a man to like her more. But what is it that initially draws a man to a woman? I asked. They answered.

If you were to take a poll of what women want in a man and vice versa, you'd be surprised at how similar both men's and women's answers are. The difference is in their expressions. It's really been an amazing experience combing through some of these responses. Here are the best ones:

What men want

• "A lady in the street, but a freak in the bed."  - a lawyer

• "A woman who is intelligent without arrogance, funny without vulgarity, compassionate without being maudlin and beautiful without the stain of vanity. Also, there is little that is more repugnant than a woman who reeks of entitlement." - Dan, an author

• "1. Unconditional sex 2. A nag-free relationship. 3. Physical beauty." - Anthony from Los Angeles

• "As a man, what I look for in a woman is compatibility. The most important thing to me is that there be spiritual compatibility from the perspective of dating someone that has a strong faith in God as I do. There must also be some mental compatibility so that we can communicate on similar topics we both enjoy. And lastly, there must be some physical attraction. I want to be able to look at the individual and enjoy what I am beholding through my eye gate." (Yes, this man just wrote "eye gate") - an author

• "Initially, there has to be some physical attraction -- any guy who says otherwise is lying. It's the way our brains are wired. That being said, we all like different things. Some like big butts, some like big bellies and some like big boobs. As far as the physical thing goes, a great smile, great teeth, nice hair, etc. are all as equally important as any of the aforementioned items. For me, a great personality can override another physical attribute, but don't confuse that to mean that a great personality means you don't need to be attractive at all. Sexually, I don't care about experience -- you can be trained. If someone is willing to learn and is inexperienced, that's fine. If you are too experienced, you better hide some of it, or I'll wonder if that's your job. Finally, she better not have an entitlement attitude. I will freely give things and stuff and meals, but the day she stops saying thanks and thinks she 'deserves' these things, she'll be gone." - Randy

• "I think men do initially notice a woman's look. But after that, men look for a sense of humor, someone who has a similar intelligence to them and also someone who has a streak of independence as most men hate to be smothered." - Keith

• "1. Non-smoking/non-drug taking (bonus for non-drinking but not a deal-breaker). 2. Attractive face/eyes (sure, large breasts are nice, but you can't have a dinner conversation with them!) 3. Shapely figure/size -- preferably hourglass or buxom, not skinny nor fat (weight no more than mine). 4. Personality -- an individual, with a will of her own plus a sense of humor to appreciate my constant silly jokes. 5. Reasonable intelligence/education -- able to converse on various subjects. High IQ an extra turn-on but not necessary; I just can't stand the "dumb blonde" stereotype. 6. No kids/don't want kids. 7. Dark hair/eyes. 8. A job/self-sufficiency." - Mike in advertising

• When he was younger, Philip had practically no requirements for women, just reasonably attractive and willing to have sex with him. With age, comes maturity. Now, in no particular order, here are his requirements: "Intelligent, attractive, takes care of herself, self-confident, not bitchy, knows what she wants, fun to converse with, great sense of humor, it's the best if she's musically savvy, meaning classical music -- and even better if she's a musician herself!" - Philip, certified health coach

So... what do you think, ladies?!

How to survive your first vacation as a couple

Just because you get along at home doesn’t mean a vacation together will automatically be fight-free. If your relationship is ready for that next big step -- your first trip as a twosome -- there are a few things to keep in mind before you book.

Talk about what you want from the trip

Even if you think you know your partner well and what they would want from a vacation, avoid assumptions. He might not be the adventurous type when it comes to travel, or he might be more into a cross-country road trip than a villa in Tuscany. Talk about what each of your ideal scenarios are when it comes to your vacation and then find a way to come up with a plan that works for both of you.

Do your research

Before you book something (flights, hotels, activities), do your research so you know what to expect. Read reviews, talk to friends who have been there and aim to choose the best option for what you’re both looking for.

Be willing to compromise

There will be times when he wants to do something you’re not keen on. Maybe there’s an excursion he’s really excited about or a day trip he wants to go on. Unless it’s something you’re dead-set against (sky diving, bungee jumping), make an effort to do some of the things he wants to do. Then he can accompany you when there are things you want to do that aren't his first choice.

Don’t expect perfection

It may rain the entire time you’re away, or you might not fall in love with your Tuscan villa. These things happen and the key is to make the best of any situation or your trip will be ruined. It’s not the rain or the fact that the villa doesn't look like the photos that will put a damper on your vacation -- it’s a negative attitude. The more positive you are and the more laid-back you can be, the better the trip will go.

3 Signs He Is the Right One For You

Despite what romantic comedies would have you believe-there is no magic answer to finding the perfect mate. Discovering if someone is the right one for you usually takes some time. Although we may wish to act solely on instinct-which can be helpful in determining if he is the right one-it is important to give it time before reaching that final decision.

While there is no set-in-stone policy for finding love, there are 3 signs you can use to determine if he is the one.

Sign #1 He Is the Right One - You Respect One Another

When it comes to figuring out if he is the right one, respect should be at the top of the list. Respect is also something that should go both ways. He should respect you and you should respect him, in turn.

You can tell he respects you when:

• He is willing to compromise
• He listens to your concerns and feelings
• He notices when something is wrong and asks you about it
• He values your opinion
• He appreciates you

He is genuinely happy for you when you succeed

All of this must be done by keeping 2 important things in your mind. First, no one is perfect. If you are looking for Mr. Perfect, you might as well stop looking and recognize that perfection simply doesn't exist. With that in mind, know that you don't have to just "settle" for "good enough." You want to have the confidence of knowing that he is not someone you have simply settled for but he is the right one for you.

Sign #2 He Is the Right One - You Share the Same Values

What do you value most? What values make up the life you have chosen to live? These are important questions to ask yourself, as they will help determine if he is the right one for you. Values are usually in-line with those non-negotiable items that will give you a clue as to whether or not he is the right one. If you don't share the same values, consider that to be a red flag.

Whether your instincts are saying he is or isn't the one, it's an important consideration. Many times our instincts are right. Of course, our best instincts can be wrong and someone can present themselves to be something that they are not. This is why intuition is only one sign to consider in determining if he is the right one for you.

Sign #3 He Is the Right One - You Can Be Yourself With Him

You will not be appreciated or valued by a man who tries to change you or who cannot love you, flaws and all. So if you can be who you are when you are with him, he might just be the right one for you. This means he not only accepts the good in you, but also your weaknesses and faults. When you can be yourself, you will experience a sense of freedom. You will have confidence in knowing that he accepts you just as you are.

When taking these 3 signs into consideration, you will have a good idea if he is actually the right guy for you.

Ways to spice up your relationship

Keeping the passion in a long-term relationship takes effort on the part of both of the people involved. Try packing a sexy note in your partner’s lunch or briefcase for a mid-afternoon surprise. Plan ahead to take a half-day off from work and meet up at a nice hotel for an intimate afternoon. Or plan a romantic weekend vacation for two where you can get away from family and work obligations. Keeping the romance alive in a marriage takes some work but it's well worth it.

3 Skills You Need Before Getting Married

Before someone gets a driver's license, they take a driver’s ed course, practice with the help of an experienced driver, and closely study the rulebook. These are all valuable things to do, because driving without the necessary skills would make someone a menace on the roads, and a danger to themselves and others.

The same thought process applies to marriage, as well. Before getting a marriage license, people must learn how to do the high-skills activity that partnership requires. Otherwise, couples are at risk for intense fighting, and launching a marriage that's at risk from the outset

Multiple research projects have clearly established that couples who learn marriage skills have the highest odds of enjoying a long-lasting and gratifying partnership. If you are spending time and energy on a wedding, it makes sense to ensure that the marriage that follows will be a successful one. 

1. Emotional self-regulation. Young children often get mad, cry, or even hit their siblings. Adults, on the other hand, mostly live their lives in the calm zone. Adults who get overly emotional, (especially with anger), can learn how to overcome their anger tendencies. If you find that you raise your voice and get mad more than once every several months, or get so mad that you say and do hurtful things, you've got some important learning to do.

2. Communication. Talking tactfully, especially when the issue is something that distresses you, and listening in a way that sustains cooperation, are essential to any marriage. Talking in a way that's complaining, critical, or otherwise hurtful will get you in serious marriage trouble. Dismissing what your partner says, negating what you hear with "but", or ignoring instead of digesting what you hear, is sure to cause extreme marital woes.

3. Positivity. Every time you share a smile, laugh at your partner's jokes, agree with a comment your partner said, express appreciation, thank your partner for something, or express affection, you are offering "dollops" of positivity. The more dollops you give, the happier you both will be.

The moral of the story? Be prepared. Remember that a wedding is for one day. Marriage, hopefully, is forever. So, take advantage of the secret to living 'happily ever after.' Whether it's before you've exchanged rings, or even many years after, ensure your success as a couple. Put at least as much skill-learning time into your marriage as you put into the wedding planning!

5 Things To Keep Quiet With Your Guy

Despite the importance of honesty in a good relationship, there remain a few things you might want to keep to yourself. We’re not suggesting being deceitful, but in a select number of cases, what you don’t say matters more than what you do. Here are the top five things not to share.

 Mean things you’ve heard about him

Your man doesn't need to hear about any mean things your friends or family have said about him. Unless it’s relevant and important to your relationship, there’s no need to hurt him with their not-so-nice words. To do so would just rock the boat. You want your family and friends to like him, and you want him to like your family and friends, so avoid creating an unnecessary rift.

Things he can’t change

Being open and sharing opinions that can help move the relationship forward is a must, but being critical about things your partner can’t easily change (his baldness, his height) isn’t fair. Your opinion matters to him and whether you see him as attractive is most likely very important to him, so if he can’t change something about his appearance, why tell him?

Other people’s secrets

If a friend confides in you and asks you not to tell anyone, respect her wishes and keep her secret — even from your guy. Unless you need his assistance or are troubled by the information, keep it to yourself. You’re in no way obligated to share other people’s secrets with your partner, especially when they don’t have anything do with him.

Negative feelings about his family

You might not love his family, but keep your negative comments about them to yourself. Let’s face it; he wants you to like his family, and he’s most likely sensitive about those people in his life. If there is a legitimate problem with one of his family members, ask his advice about how to resolve the issue, but don’t go overboard. Don’t reveal lots of negative feelings especially if those family members can’t change what you are annoyed with.

Attraction to someone he knows

It’s OK to think other people are attractive (hello, Ryan Gosling), but you don’t need to tell your partner, especially if it’s someone he knows. Yes, these feelings are only thoughts and you (ideally) haven’t acted on them, but there is no need to stir up feelings that might promote or inspire jealousy.