Beautiful Brides Magazine

3 Signs He Is the Right One For You

Despite what romantic comedies would have you believe-there is no magic answer to finding the perfect mate. Discovering if someone is the right one for you usually takes some time. Although we may wish to act solely on instinct-which can be helpful in determining if he is the right one-it is important to give it time before reaching that final decision.

While there is no set-in-stone policy for finding love, there are 3 signs you can use to determine if he is the one.

Sign #1 He Is the Right One - You Respect One Another

When it comes to figuring out if he is the right one, respect should be at the top of the list. Respect is also something that should go both ways. He should respect you and you should respect him, in turn.

You can tell he respects you when:

He is willing to compromise
He listens to your concerns and feelings
He notices when something is wrong and asks you about it
He values your opinion
He appreciates you

He is genuinely happy for you when you succeed

All of this must be done by keeping 2 important things in your mind. First, no one is perfect. If you are looking for Mr. Perfect, you might as well stop looking and recognize that perfection simply doesn't exist. With that in mind, know that you don't have to just "settle" for "good enough." You want to have the confidence of knowing that he is not someone you have simply settled for but he is the right one for you.

Sign #2 He Is the Right One - You Share the Same Values

What do you value most? What values make up the life you have chosen to live? These are important questions to ask yourself, as they will help determine if he is the right one for you. Values are usually in-line with those non-negotiable items that will give you a clue as to whether or not he is the right one. If you don't share the same values, consider that to be a red flag.

Whether your instincts are saying he is or isn't the one, it's an important consideration. Many times our instincts are right. Of course, our best instincts can be wrong and someone can present themselves to be something that they are not. This is why intuition is only one sign to consider in determining if he is the right one for you.

Sign #3 He Is the Right One - You Can Be Yourself With Him

You will not be appreciated or valued by a man who tries to change you or who cannot love you, flaws and all. So if you can be who you are when you are with him, he might just be the right one for you. This means he not only accepts the good in you, but also your weaknesses and faults. When you can be yourself, you will experience a sense of freedom. You will have confidence in knowing that he accepts you just as you are.

When taking these 3 signs into consideration, you will have a good idea if he is actually the right guy for you.

Ways to spice up your relationship

Keeping the passion in a long-term relationship takes effort on the part of both of the people involved. Try packing a sexy note in your partner’s lunch or briefcase for a mid-afternoon surprise. Plan ahead to take a half-day off from work and meet up at a nice hotel for an intimate afternoon. Or plan a romantic weekend vacation for two where you can get away from family and work obligations. Keeping the romance alive in a marriage takes some work but it's well worth it.

3 Skills You Need Before Getting Married

Before someone gets a driver's license, they take a driver’s ed course, practice with the help of an experienced driver, and closely study the rulebook. These are all valuable things to do, because driving without the necessary skills would make someone a menace on the roads, and a danger to themselves and others.

The same thought process applies to marriage, as well. Before getting a marriage license, people must learn how to do the high-skills activity that partnership requires. Otherwise, couples are at risk for intense fighting, and launching a marriage that's at risk from the outset

Multiple research projects have clearly established that couples who learn marriage skills have the highest odds of enjoying a long-lasting and gratifying partnership. If you are spending time and energy on a wedding, it makes sense to ensure that the marriage that follows will be a successful one.

1. Emotional self-regulation. Young children often get mad, cry, or even hit their siblings. Adults, on the other hand, mostly live their lives in the calm zone. Adults who get overly emotional, (especially with anger), can learn how to overcome their anger tendencies. If you find that you raise your voice and get mad more than once every several months, or get so mad that you say and do hurtful things, you've got some important learning to do.

2. Communication. Talking tactfully, especially when the issue is something that distresses you, and listening in a way that sustains cooperation, are essential to any marriage. Talking in a way that's complaining, critical, or otherwise hurtful will get you in serious marriage trouble. Dismissing what your partner says, negating what you hear with "but", or ignoring instead of digesting what you hear, is sure to cause extreme marital woes.

3. Positivity. Every time you share a smile, laugh at your partner's jokes, agree with a comment your partner said, express appreciation, thank your partner for something, or express affection, you are offering "dollops" of positivity. The more dollops you give, the happier you both will be.

The moral of the story? Be prepared. Remember that a wedding is for one day. Marriage, hopefully, is forever. So, take advantage of the secret to living 'happily ever after.' Whether it's before you've exchanged rings, or even many years after, ensure your success as a couple. Put at least as much skill-learning time into your marriage as you put into the wedding planning!

5 Things To Keep Quiet With Your Guy

Despite the importance of honesty in a good relationship, there remain a few things you might want to keep to yourself. We’re not suggesting being deceitful, but in a select number of cases, what you don’t say matters more than what you do. Here are the top five things not to share.

Mean things you’ve heard about him

Your man doesn't need to hear about any mean things your friends or family have said about him. Unless it’s relevant and important to your relationship, there’s no need to hurt him with their not-so-nice words. To do so would just rock the boat. You want your family and friends to like him, and you want him to like your family and friends, so avoid creating an unnecessary rift.

Things he can’t change

Being open and sharing opinions that can help move the relationship forward is a must, but being critical about things your partner can’t easily change (his baldness, his height) isn’t fair. Your opinion matters to him and whether you see him as attractive is most likely very important to him, so if he can’t change something about his appearance, why tell him?

Other people’s secrets

If a friend confides in you and asks you not to tell anyone, respect her wishes and keep her secret — even from your guy. Unless you need his assistance or are troubled by the information, keep it to yourself. You’re in no way obligated to share other people’s secrets with your partner, especially when they don’t have anything do with him.

Negative feelings about his family

You might not love his family, but keep your negative comments about them to yourself. Let’s face it; he wants you to like his family, and he’s most likely sensitive about those people in his life. If there is a legitimate problem with one of his family members, ask his advice about how to resolve the issue, but don’t go overboard. Don’t reveal lots of negative feelings especially if those family members can’t change what you are annoyed with.

Attraction to someone he knows

It’s OK to think other people are attractive (hello, Ryan Gosling), but you don’t need to tell your partner, especially if it’s someone he knows. Yes, these feelings are only thoughts and you (ideally) haven’t acted on them, but there is no need to stir up feelings that might promote or inspire jealousy.

Date ideas for happily married couples

Just because you know each other inside-out doesn’t mean that you don’t have to date anymore. Take turns choosing an activity that each person enjoys and making that a part of your date night. Does your wife like to hike? Plan a hiking date. Is your husband into sports? Take him to a football game. Sharing time together is the most important part but doing something one or both of you enjoys makes time together even better. Other date ideas for married couples could include getting a massage together, playing a round of miniature golf or taking a stroll through the local park and enjoying a picnic lunch or dinner.

5 Things to Consider Before You Get Married

You want a satisfying and rewarding marriage? You can have one, but you need a dose of reality first. Here are things you need to say “I do” to before you say I do.

Do you have a sense of humor?
A sense of humor is vital, and the first person you have to laugh at is yourself. Consider this- men and women have to hook up on some level to propagate the species, proving God has a sense of humor. He obviously assumed we would too.

Do you know you’ll have to work? Hard?
I solicited the opinion of dozens of women for this topic, and the feedback was unanimous. You have to be willing to work. Some women think if you’re a perfect match, your marriage shouldn’t be work. Those people are called divorcees. It’s true your marriage shouldn’t be work every hour of every day, but there will be days when your marriage will require extra energy (a term I prefer over “work”). Like Grandpa used to say, anything worth having is worth working for. Welcome to Marriage 101.

Do you realize marriage is not 50/50?
Gotcha! You figure you’ll give half, he’ll give half and you’ll meet somewhere in the middle. You poor, poor dear. The reality is, there will be some days you’ll give 90% and you may or may not get 10% back. There may be weeks or months that pass with the scales out of whack. Remember- you committed your whole life to him, and in your lifetime the scales will shift back in your favor. Interestingly, the scales will align faster if you abandon the scorecard and self-pity.
Do you know comparisons are a death sentence for marriages?
Like fingerprints, marriages are unique and specific to the two individuals involved and the one-of-a-kind bond they create. Instead of scowling at your husband when your friend brags about the romantic vacation her husband took her on, just smile. Maybe your friend left out how her husband ogled other women on the beach or said something at dinner that made her cry. You never know what goes on behind closed doors- be secure in what you and your husband share and the knowledge that it works for you.

Do you know your fiancé is bilingual?
Read a couple books about how men communicate or have a sit-down with your aunts and grandma. We think we grasp the Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus concept, but we don’t. He may not say “I love you” 14 times a day, but he might fill your car when it’s out of gas, maybe he’ll cover you with a blanket when you’re cold, he may bring you a glass of wine when you’re in the tub, or he might listen to stories about the kids when he just wants to crawl in a hole and go to sleep. You have to learn to read, understand and appreciate man-speak.

In order for a marriage to be successful, reality can’t be sugar-coated. Long term commitments are not for the faint of heart. A lasting union takes a great deal of love, patience, true grit and guts. The benefits are countless. I’ll leave you to discover those on your own.